Nemeses on Ice
by futureauthor13
Summary: Perry is the best at nearly everything, but there's one winter activity he has no experience on, and that just won't do for an agent of his standards. But can he learn with the help of an unlikely teacher? Perry and Doof friendship fluff. Oneshot


**There's an upcoming episode of PnF featuring ice hockey. I started thinking about ice and my mind just wandered and thought of, well, this. Anyway, hope you all enjoy!**

The wind was blowing harshly, though that may have been because he was flying through the air at over sixty miles per hour. If the jetpack wasn't his fastest mode of transportation, Perry would have never considered taking it. But Doofenshmirtz had an outdoor's scheme today ('Why on Earth would he do an outside scheme in the middle of winter!' he mentally asked himself for what felt like the dozenth time that morning) and he wanted to get there as soon as possible so he could return to his comfortable home and his bed by the fireplace.

The blackened trees that surrounded the small lake were bare except for a fresh coating of snow on the branches. In the middle of the frozen pond was Doofenshmirtz in his familiar purple parka and ice skates, standing alongside a giant inator. The platypus agent could faintly hear a quartet sing 'Doofenshmirtz standing on a frozen lake!' Landing on the cold ice, his feet slipped slightly though it wasn't too noticable. He took off his goggles and chattered, getting the mad scientist's attention.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus," Doofenshmirtz greeted with his usual smirk, "Ice to meet you!" Perry just looked at him. "Yeah, I know but there aren't any good ice themed puns. My trap isn't even ice themed but, look just get in here." He pulled out a remote and pressed a button.

In an instant, a hockey net (only with all four sides covered with netting instead of just three) dropped down over the agent. There were also four metal claws that popped out of the corners of the net, drilling into the ice and making sure Perry couldn't just lift the goal trap over him.

"So, I bet you're wondering why I'm doing an outside scheme in the middle of winter." Perry glared at him. "Hey, I'm not exactly having a picnic out here either, but this idea was too good to lose!" Grinning, he gestured to the purple piece of machinery. "Behold! The Snowglobe-Inator!"

It looked like a satellite dish connected to a computer with a snowglobe sitting on top of it. "I realized, going after a huge group of people, like the citizens of the Tri-State Area, is pointless," Doofenshmirtz began to explain, "So, I'm going to go after smaller groups. By trapping everyone in snowglobes, it will be easier for me to take over the Tri State Area, and no one will be able to stop me!"

Laughing, Doofenshmirtz looked away from the platypus and walked over to the controls. "I just have to set the coordinates and wait for it to warm up." Perry decided this would be a good time to make his escape.

Taking off his fedora (somewhat reluctantly since his head was pretty much the warmest part of his body), he activates the external blades, and cut a platypus sized hole out of the net. Quickly but carefully, he climbed out of the trap.

He started to run, but only after a couple steps, he felt the heal of his foot slip out from under him and his tiny body hit the ice with an 'Oomph'!. He laid there for only a moment before sitting up.

Seeing the whole scene, Doofenshmirtz tried to keep his laughter in, but failed miserably. "Oh Perry the Platypus! I can't believe you just did that!" As he laughed, Perry glared at him, growling loudly.

He quickly picked himself off the ice and tried it again. But with the same slippery results. Doofenshmirtz laugh grew louder, and Perry's determination grew stronger. 'I'm going to smack that smile off his face!' he thought as he tried running again.

His webbed feet kept slipping, and while he managed to keep his balance a little by holding himself up with his tail, that didn't provide too much traction either. But after a couple more tries, Perry was nearing the inator. But there must have been a particularly slippery patch of ice underneath him, because both of his feet kept slipping and flying upwards, no matter how many tries he tried to regain his balanced.

The platypus put up one heck of a fight, but in the end the ice won, and Perry found himself landing face first on the hard surface. Embarrassed and frustrated, Perry stayed there, almost wishing the ice would crack and crumble underneath him. 'At least I can't embarrass myself underwater,' he thought.

But despite all this, the agent did pick up on something: Doofenshmirtz had stopped laughing.

Slowly, he looked up. Doofenshmirtz wasn't even grinning. He actually looked like he felt sorry for Perry. "Wow, you really can't ice skate, can you?" Thinking about it, it made sense. Perry didn't have claws that could help him, or ice skates. Of course his nemesis would slip.

Perry looked away, scowling. He heard the sound of metal on ice and found himself looking at Doof's feet. "Come on, get up." He felt a pair of hands grab his waist, and immediately tensed up. But it was only for a moment, just long enough to help Perry back on his feet, and then he let go.

"So..." Doof said, rubbing the back of his neck. Perry raised his eyebrow at him. "I guess I'll teach you." Wait, what? No way, not going to happen. "Look, a fight's only fun if we both are somewhat good at it," Doof started to say (obviously the 'somewhat' part referring to himself), "and I'm sure your a fast learner. You'd have to be to be the best agent at O.W.C.A." Perry's face stayed the same, but on the inside he gave a small smile at that comment.

"So, I'll just give you a crash course on moving on the ice without falling, and then we can continue our daily battle of good vs. evil. Deal?"

Perry thought for a moment. He didn't really have a choice, he couldn't let Doof win and trap everyone in snowglobes. But in order to beat Doofenshmirtz, he had to be able to walk more than two steps without slipping.

Reluctantly, Perry looked up at his nemesis and nodded. Doof smiled. "Great!" he said, grabbing his paw, "Let's start!"

But before they could start the first lesson, Perry pulled his hand away. He had no problem with holding hands if it was to help Doof get through something like a crazy driving test. But Perry didn't need anyone to hold his hand just to teach him something.

Unfortunately, pulling away made Perry slip backwards again, but luckily his tail caught him just in time. "I was just going to help you keep your balance," Doof explained, "But if you think you can do it on your own..." Doof was smiling slightly, and Perry glared at him, but held out his hand.

'Just until we're done learning the basics,' Perry thought. The scientist took the small furry hand and gripped it tightly as he moved his skates forward.

"Did I ever tell you about winters back in Gimmelshtump?" Doof asked. Perry shook his head. "Well, most of them aren't too interesting. It was just really cold there. Practically everything was ice and snow, so if you didn't know how to ice skate and if you didn't have a good pair of boots, no one saw you until spring. My father gave my boots to Only Son, but I still got by pretty well. The only bad part was when Roger and his friends didn't have a sled they could use, so they would use me." He scowled. "Note to self: Make Sled-Disappear-inator."

The two continued to slowly skate around the lake, but Doof was still the only thing keeping Perry standing up. "You know, ice is actually one of the best surfaces to walk on," Doof commented.

Perry gave him a curious look. 'How on Earth can this stuff be good to walk on?' he thought.

"I mean, it's still bad when your in a car, but when you're walking on it, you just have to keep your balance and the ice does all the work. See, look Perry the Platypus." Perry watched Doof's feet. Despite moving at a decent speed, he only took a few steps per minute. He would never take his foot off the ground, he would only slide it forward, and the slick ice would keep him moving.

"You can't really push yourself or you fall flat on your hiney. I guess it's like letting the current of a river or something carry you instead of swimming."

Perry perked up a little at that. "Yeah, I thought you would get that analogy," Doof said with a smile, "Platypuses are one of the best swimmers in the animal kingdom, and if they're spending all that time in the water they must be enjoying it a little. Uh, not that I've been reading up on platypuses or anything!" he added quickly. This time, Perry smiled.

After taking it slow for a few minutes (and noticing that Perry had made some progress), Doof let go of Perry's hand and told him it was time to pick up the pace. "Try and see if you can catch me, Perry the Platypus!"

Perry smirked. He started out slow, his 'steps' were even strokes. Then, he started moving his feet more quickly, but never taking them off the ground. He was gliding across the ice, quickly catching up to Doofenshmirtz.

But just as he was about to catch him, the man took a sharp turn to the right, making Perry nearly collide into a snowbank. When he looked at Doof for an explanation, Doof simply said, "What, you didn't think I was going to not trick you, did you? Hello? Evil!" Even though he was taunting him, there was a certain playful tone in his voice, as if they were two friends playing tag rather than two enemies.

Perry brushed the snow off his hands and playfully glared at his nemesis. 'Don't count on that happening again, Heinz.' The chase continued.

After only an hour, Perry had mastered the art of ice skating. "See, told you it wouldn't take you too long to learn it," Doof said. He grinned. "Now that we're a little more even, let's see who wins this time. I-! Wait, wait hold on one second."

Turning away slightly, Doof took a script out of his coat pocket. Perry couldn't help but smile. 'I still can't believe he writes an entire script,' he thought, though he was amused by it. 'Only Doof.'

"Okay." Doof cleared his throat. "Now Perry the Platypus, watch as the entire Tri-State Area, becomes my knick-knack shelf!" That was his cue.

Perry took off like a rocket down the icy battleground, his balance not faltering for even an instant. As soon as he was close enough, he jumped up and hit the scientist square in the face.

Jumping was the easy part, the hard part was sticking the landing. But as soon as his webbed feet hit the ice, Perry didn't move a muscle. He just let the ice carry him a couple inches away. After a few minutes, he stopped, or rather the ice stopped him. He was still standing. Inside he was grinning, even though on the outside he was giving his nemesis a steely glare.

"Oh, so you want to be like that?" Doof asked, glaring back, "Well, taste my frozen fury!" Doofenshmirtz skated over to him and raised a fist.

Pressing his tail down on the ice to use as a balanced, Perry was able to dodge the attack without losing his balance. He stayed on defense for a few moments before finally deciding to attack. But rather than raise a fist of his own, Perry just simply waited until Doof tried to punch him again.

When he did, Perry grabbed the man's fist and pulled it past him, making Doof fall forward and fall face first. With an opening now in sight, Perry skated over to the inator.

"Oh no you don't!" Doof quickly got back up and chased after the platypus. When he was close enough, Doof grabbed Perry's arm and tried to throw him back. But Perry was quicker, he grabbed _Doof's_ hand.

"Hey! Let go!" The two started spinning around in a perfect circle. If someone were to arrive at the lake and see them, they would've thought the two were practicing an ice skating routine.

When the moment was right, Perry let go... and was flung right towards the inator! "No!" Doof shouted, realizing his mistake too late. The scientist tried to skate over to his precious machine as fast as he could, but Perry was faster. His tiny fist pressed the self destruct button, and the machine exploded, melting some of the ice and sending both of them flying into a pile of snow.

Gasping for a breath, Doof sat up. Looking next to him, he saw Perry sit up too, and then promptly shake the snow off his head the way a dog would dry itself after a bath. Doof laughed, and Perry gave a small smile.

"You see, you see, told you it would be more fun if we both could fight," said Heinz. Perry just rolled his eyes, but the smile stayed. They both stood up and brushed the snow off their bodies.

"Well, I guess I'm done for today," Doof said as he looked at the burning pile of metal. He looked down at Perry. "Same time tomorrow." Perry answered with a thumbs up, and Doof smiled.

The platypus activated his jetpack and flew into the sky, with the familiar words of "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" behind him.

()()()()()

"But Mom! I'm telling you! They performed 'The Nutcracker Suite' in the backyard! With giant nutcrackers and robot mice soldiers!"

Entering through the pet door, Perry could hear Candace ranting and could see his boys and their friends sipping hot cocoa in the kitchen (he also noticed that Isabella had a brand new patch with a pair of ballet slippers on it).

"Oh, there you are Perry," Phineas said. Perry gave him a happy chitter. "Well aren't you in a good mood," the red head said with a pleased smile.

"Maybe he went to go see a friend," Isabella said, "that would make anyone happy."

"And it would explain why he wanders off everyday," Ferb added.

"Maybe," said Phineas. He looked down at the monotreme. "Well, in that case, did you and your friend have fun?"

Perry thought for a moment, and replied with an enthusiastic chitter. 'Yes, yes we did.'

**I felt like doing something different. In most stories, it's always Perry helping Doof or teaching him something, only rarely is it the other way around. I also figured that webbed feet aren't the best feet to have on ice, and being a platypus, Perry wouldn't have too much experience on it. But mostly I wanted to write some Doof and Perry fluff (lol). Hope you all enjoyed it! Please review and have a happy holidays! **


End file.
